At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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