I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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