He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just invented taco cereal.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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