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  • Submitted by michaelafogle on Nov 29, 10 at 5:54pm

    When people write things with periods after every word it always takes me so long to read them cause I have to pause for every word. and then I feel like an idiot.

  • Submitted by ttesroD on Nov 30, 10 at 12:32am

    Maybe she just wanted some wood in her mouth...

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 29, 10 at 11:02pm

    Woah. Dude. I have a girl at school named Lauren Dresser

    • 62 54
      Submitted by said8ED on Nov 30, 10 at 12:43am

      that makes the text even funnier

  • Submitted by said8ED on Nov 29, 10 at 5:09pm

    Give her a bone to chew on

    • 75 68
      Submitted by RyanM on Nov 30, 10 at 1:30am

      After thinking about this more and more, I want to say OP is talking about a dog. I really hope it's not a dog. That would make this unusual and hilarious rather than normal and sad.

      • 72 54
        Submitted by said8ED on Nov 30, 10 at 4:38am

        It's all about context. This is probably innocent and refers to a puppy, maybe a rabbit, or some other pet. It's the lack of details that let people run with it

        • 51 60
          Submitted by RyanM on Nov 30, 10 at 10:12am

          very true

  • 94 66
    Submitted by RyanM on Nov 29, 10 at 4:58pm

    Her teeth are so pissed off right now.

  • 89 62
    Submitted by gettheledout7 on Nov 29, 10 at 9:44pm

    Hahahahaha this is about my sister

  • 89 68
    Submitted by cfreymarc on Nov 29, 10 at 7:10pm

    That is muchies!

  • Submitted by Figuratively on Nov 29, 10 at 6:22pm

    I. Type. Stupidly. And. Repeat. Myself. Even. Though. I. Was. Perfectly. Clear. The. First. Time. Because. I. Think. It. Emphasizes. My. Point.

  • 78 62
    Submitted by ThreatLVLMidNght on Nov 29, 10 at 5:04pm

    Maybe she was hungry ya jerk. Did you offer her some tasty morsels?

  • 82 73
    Submitted by bandkid27 on Nov 29, 10 at 9:14pm

    Second. Text. Today. Typing. Like. This. W.T.F?

  • 72 64
    Submitted by Peachy123 on Nov 29, 10 at 11:02pm

    Someone is high....

  • 74 70
    Submitted by niceman on Dec 2, 10 at 4:44pm

    Yo, the bitch likes wood. Bend her ass over and fucking give it to her.

  • 75 74
    Submitted by steeldude on Nov 30, 10 at 7:35am

    the extacy is really kickin in

  • 65 58
    Submitted by KingOfTheDorks on Dec 1, 10 at 10:07am

    Reminds me of that episode of South Park where they adopt a starving African child but the child actually gets shipped out to them lol!

  • 65 63
    Submitted by rcclarke on Nov 30, 10 at 5:30pm

    meth happens.

  • 75 84
    Submitted by ly0ntamer on Nov 29, 10 at 7:14pm

    Is said woman a woodchuck? If not, she's fired!

  • 69 73
    Submitted by Cthulhu on Nov 30, 10 at 9:55am

    Fiber: Tastes gross, but the benefits are great. This woman is smart.

  • 68 72
    Submitted by Michguy on Nov 29, 10 at 6:56pm

    The retarded one word sentences are back, morons.

  • 80 99
    Submitted by wrestle614 on Nov 29, 10 at 5:18pm

    Just. Because. You. Type. Like. This. Doesn't. Make. This. Text. Even. Remotely. Funny.

  • 77 98
    Submitted by kinked on Dec 7, 10 at 9:57pm

    Blah this was on fuautocorrect. Turns out she was dancing on the dresser.

  • 62 71
    Submitted by loriann87 on Nov 30, 10 at 12:31pm

    Some pregnant women crave non-food items. So she's pregnant or high as fuck

  • 73 99
    Submitted by rick_scott on Nov 29, 10 at 5:58pm

    Is this the same girl that was licking the wall this morning? Some stick something in her mouth before I fire you!

  • 71 95
    Submitted by cumbuckets on Nov 29, 10 at 4:47pm

    First! Just kidding I'm not a huge loser.

  • 58 72
    Submitted by sexysicilian23 on Nov 29, 10 at 6:22pm

    Sounds like a bitch, probably looks like a bitch...yeah its a bitch(dog)

  • 56 81
    Submitted by niceman on Dec 1, 10 at 9:54pm

    That is when it is time to shove a big dick inside of her. She will love it and, of course, leave the fucking dresser alone.

  • Submitted by ly0ntamer on Nov 29, 10 at 5:32pm

    With a name like cumbuckets you're a huge loser. You're fired!

    • 60 57
      Submitted by bandkid27 on Nov 29, 10 at 9:20pm

      Gtfo rick scott wannabe!

  • 25 46
    Submitted by courtchronic on Jun 23, 12 at 9:34pm

    I've partied with beavers before too.