Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize