I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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