youre lurking in front of me
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize