discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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