Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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