I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize