took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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