The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize