i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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