Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
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i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
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I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
PANTIES FOUND
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