Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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