kristin has been a bad kristin
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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