She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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