I cannot find my penis.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize