my phone needs a breathalizer
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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