you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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