i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize