Dual....:-)
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
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The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
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Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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