can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Small penises have feelings too.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize