DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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