I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize