Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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