He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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