apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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