i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
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What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
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I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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