My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize