Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize