Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
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I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
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Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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