dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
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I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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