I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It's rum buckets o'clock
The dick lei will go down in squad history
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize