I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize