what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
People in love make me want to vomit
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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