apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
3pm strippers are depressing
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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