Swine flu. Run for my life!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My ass is underappreciated
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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