he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Boobs are out for the taking
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize