Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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