if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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