we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize