Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize