You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
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my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
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Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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