I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I think my moral compass just broke
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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