i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize