sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
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The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
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Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I have feelings that need drinking.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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