What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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