they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
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This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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