I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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