True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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