Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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